'I love my friend's kids, but my family doesn't'

Jul 06, 2016, 06:00 IST | Dr. Love

Q. I am a 46-year-old bachelor, with no siblings. I lost my parents recently, so I moved to my aunt's place in my village where I have a piece of land. I am undergoing some treatment, so I took a break from my career. Now, my aunt and other relatives want me to live the kind of life they do, which is impossible for me. I wanted to move out, but am afraid this will hurt and offend them. I have two beautiful children who are my best friend's kids, but my relatives do not want to accept that. Kindly guide me.
A. I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean. I strongly believe you should live the way you want to, because people who truly love you will eventually come to terms with your decision. If you love someone, you learn to accept that person's decisions even if they don't necessarily match yours. What I don't get is why your relatives have a problem with you liking your friend's children. Are you saying they would like you to have kids of your own? I don't really get what you're saying here.

Q. I think my boyfriend had an affair with someone. I'm not sure because I have no proof, but I had a dream about it. How do I cope with this?
A. If you have no proof, who is to say your boyfriend is innocent? If you do feel strongly about it, maybe you should talk to him about it. Has he cheated on you before? Do you have strong reasons for suspecting this? Are you being paranoid and taking this dream a little too seriously? Have you spoken to friends about this? It's hard to comment on how you can cope when it means blaming someone for something based on a dream. Figure out why you feel this way first, and please don't end a relationship on the basis of a dream. This is life, not a Balaji Telefilms soap opera.

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