'I love my hair, but he wants me to chop it'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
Q. He wants me to cut my hair before marriage, but I love my long hair. What do I tell him?
A. If he says he loves you, he ought to love everything about you. If he insists on making you do something you’re not comfortable with even before you marry, the two of you need to have a serious conversation. Marriage is about accepting the bad with the good. If he agrees, he won’t force you. If he insists, tell him you like bald men and ask him to shave his head completely before the big day. That ought to do the trick.
Q. Should we attend a marriage preparation programme?
A. If the program in question offers you unlimited cocktails and a great DJ, you must attend by all means. If it involves 48 hours of lectures on how to please your husband, what to expect from your wife, or why you should choose to have one child or three, maybe it isn't such a good idea. A lot of preconceived notions tend to get passed down from generation to generation by people who mean well but inadvertently cause more harm than good. The person best qualified to prepare you for marriage is the man or woman you intend to marry. A programme won’t change that.
Q. How do I know if I’m ready for marriage?
A. How did you know you wanted to be with someone in the first place? How did you know one person was worth dating over another? How will you know you’re ready if someone tells you it’s the right time? These are questions that probably bothered our ancestors since the time they decided to create the institution of marriage after centuries of forcibly dragging potential partners back to their caves. If you feel like you can’t live without someone, and that being with that person for the rest of your life will make you happy, you’re probably ready. If you’re not ready, don’t do it. Then again, if it’s an arranged marriage, you probably
don’t have a choice anyway, do you?
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