'I'm in love with my cousin's husband...'

Dear Diana,
I have fallen for my cousin's husband. They got married four months ago. I just do not know how to control myself. I was attracted to him ever since I saw him at the wedding. When my parents invited them to our place, I kept staring at him. I often visit my cousin's house on some pretext or the other to see him. I think he likes me as he talks sweetly to me. I find him irresistible. What do I do? At the same time, I feel sorry for my cousin. She has no clue what is going on in my mind. I am 20 and in my last year of graduation. He is 31 and works for a multinational. Should I tell my family about my feelings for him? Or should I tell my cousin? I am scared about their reactions as well. I do not want to ruin my cousin's life.
— Manasvi

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Manasvi,
Are you in love with him or are you infatuated with him? At your age, it is common to be infatuated with someone.
By telling your cousin or other family members, you will create havoc in your family. Are you prepared to face the heat? You are playing with fire so get prepared to be scorched. It will strain relations between your family members. It's been only four months since your cousin got married, so all hell will break loose. It will not only shock your cousin, but she will be heartbroken. Banish any such thoughts about hooking up with your cousin's hubby. He is sweet to you as you are his wife's cousin. This does not mean that he is in love with you. Also, stop those staring sessions next time you meet him, he will get uncomfortable and start avoiding you. Chances are that soon you will get over this guy and find someone else who is more attractive. I am sure over time you will overcome the infatuation. It is common for girls your age to be infatuated by someone and mistake it for love.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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