I'm a 40-plus single mother with two teenaged kids. I recently got in touch with a guy in my age group via a social networking site. He's single too. I've been speaking to him on the phone for long and have met him quite a lot of time too. He seems pretty genuine and caring. We are thinking of taking our relationship a step further and get married. My children aren't aware of our relationship yet. I feel a bit uncomfortable discussing him with them. Now that I want to make a new beginning with their approval, I wish to have a conversation. But till date, I don't know how to broach the topic.
Illustration/ Satish Acharya
The sooner you inform them the better it is. They will be angry and feel really bad if you tell them at a later stage just when you are planning to get married. In fact once you were sorted out and were thinking of a future with him, you should have told them about your plan. Remember it is going to affect them in a big way.
All these years they have not had a father figure at home, and now suddenly to find one is not exactly going to be easy. Depending on how mature they are, you will have to explain the need for a man in the house. Chances are that they may be hostile but this is something you will have to deal with. Your guy will have to strike a rapport with your kids and this will take time. So get going now. And do not expect them to start calling him daddy overnight. It will take a long time. You will have to be patient and be gentle with them.