'I think I am a bisexual...'

Dear Diana,
I'm a 21-year-old guy who is attracted to boys and girls. I had a girlfriend for a while, but when she realised that I was attracted to guys as well, she found it strange and drifted away. Can a guy be attracted to men and women? Presently I am attracted to this guy at the gym and fantasise about him. How do I decide who I am attracted to more? My pals tell me I am a bisexual.
— Tarun

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Tarun,
Your pals are right. From what you have said, it appears that you are a bisexual. The term bisexuality is used in the context of human attraction to denote romantic or sexual feelings towards men and women. There are many people out there who are bisexual. Most bisexuals when they are interested in someone, they focus on the person, not their gender. The level of emotion and attraction bisexuals feel for a certain gender varies person to person. It is commonly believed that people are heterosexual or homosexual, but there is a wide spectrum of feelings and identities people experience which are not just straight or gay. Bisexuality is an option in its own right.

Dear Diana,
I have been going out with my boyfriend for five months now. Initially I was involved with another guy who I went out with for a year. We then went our ways due to a misunderstanding. My problem is that I am unable to forget my ex. I feel he treated me better than my present guy. Should I go back to my ex?
— Jenny

Dear Jenny,
You need to clear your muddled mind. Your ex is your past, so let him remain there. You had a problem and parted ways. Now that you have found someone else, why are you making comparison notes? Stop doing it and work on the present relationship.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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