'I've stopped having sex after joining gym...'

Dear Diana,
I am 25 and have a girlfriend. We have been having a physical relationship, but ever since I have started going to the gym, I haven't been able to be as intimate with her as before. Is it a side effect of working out? My friends think that this change has a lot to do with my bulging muscles.
— Umesh

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Umesh,
You need medical advice, consult a sexologist to clear your doubts. In general, a higher testosterone level in males increases the sex drive. When a man's testosterone level begins to fall as he ages or due to other factors, the libido starts to diminish as well. May be you are overdoing at the gym and the exercises are affecting your sex drive. Instead of listening to your friends, check with your trainer as well.

Dear Diana,
I'm 21 and my girlfriend is also of the same age. We have been in a relationship for the past eight months. During our early days, she promised not to hide anything and tell each other the truth. I have been keeping my promise. A week ago, she was highly disturbed. The reason was because she had a fight with another guy in her class. She said he misbehaved with her. When I asked her, she told me it's not a big deal. Looks like she sets the rules for both of us which she doesn't even follow, but expects me to.
— Sahir

Dear Sahir
She may have had her reasons hiding the truth from you, but what she did was wrong. Perhaps she thought that you would pick a fight with the guy and make matters even more worse. The incident has left a deep impact on her, no wonder she is so disturbed. Ask her why she kept mum — give her a patient hearing before chiding her about hiding things from you.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012



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