I Wanna Be Justin Timberlake

Rahul da CunhaI want to be Justin Timberlake. I don’t necessarily want to bean ex-boy band dude, grab at Janet Jackson, or marry Jessica Biel. I wanna be that guy that chicks want and guys want to be. I want to be Mr Cool. I wanna get the girls, play the tunes and be on the Rolling Stone cover. I don’t necessarily want to stand for anything, not be some style icon, some supermodel. I just wanna be cool. Really cool.

So what to do...what to add to my personage to make the above mentioned happen? I am told that I need to make a fashion statement to get noticed, get natty and get newsheadlined. So what fashion accessory do I appropriate to add to my pizzazz, heighten my chutzpah? Can’t wear leather jackets in our weather, 24/7 sunglasses are out (only Lenny Kravitz can make that happen. Also it’s tough to walk around, with shades always on, danger of bumping into doors). I am at a loss.

Illustration/ Amit Bandre

So I gatecrash Lakme Fashion Week, thinking I can get some leads, with so many great designers around. Sadly all the male models strutting down the ramp are dressed like Russel Crowe in The Gladiator.

So I Google, and voila, Paris lets me know — the coolest guys are wearing hats. Yup, the quickest way to supercooldom is to sport a hat. I study Justin Timberlake, he wears a Trilby. So does Colin Farrell. Even that Justin Bieber person. Trilbys, in particular, are in vogue. (For the uninitiated, the Trilby is a smaller version of a Panama hat.)

So I invest in a really smart one. Beige, tweed texture, small light black ribbon, I alter my walk a bit, and I’m good to go. I cruise down a Bombay road, looking around, smiling at passersby hoping they will notice. The impact isn’t quite what I expected. One dabbawalla looks at my headgear, adjusts his Gandhi cap and hurriedly ‘haathgaadis’ on. I head to Ayesha’s, my 17-year-old goddaughter’s house. She looks at me, and her scowling countenance breaks into a smiling chuckle.

“Why’re you wearing a hat, dude?” “Because it’s a cool thing to do, duh.” “I respect you greatly, but lose the hat, plus it doesn’t suit the shape of your face, you need to be lean.” She sees my face fall. “Okay godfather dear, if you must wear a hat, why not a Stetson?” “Ayesha, Justin Timberlake is my role model, not John Wayne.” Her friend, Alya piles on, “Rahul uncle, why not be like Jay Z, and wear a baseball cap?”

This is getting worse and worse. Finally Ayesha’s grandmother walks in, “Nice hat, dikra, you look just like Raj Kapoor.” Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62

The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper. 

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