'I want my widowed father to remarry...'

Dear Diana,
My mother passed away four years ago. She battled with cancer for years. My dad is 46, but looks younger. Though he takes great care of me, I want him to move on in life and find someone. I'm 16 and the only child. I am busy with my studies and have a great gang of friends. I often feel my dad is lonely and alone at home. I have been telling him to find someone, but he appears to be not too keen. He tells me what if the woman does not get along with me? He does not want to create problems for me. I have been telling him to register on matrimonial sites which help widowers find partners. My dad is against all this. He tells me he is fine, but I know he would be happier with someone around. How do I get it in his head?
— Sameer


Dear Sameer,
You appear to be a mature caring youngster who wants his dad to be happy. At the same time, your father's fears are justified. He does not want any more problems if the woman and you do not share warm vibes. You are engrossed in your studies and pals. You have moved on in life and come to terms with your mother's loss. Your dad may not have and feels there is a vacuum in his life. Perhaps you can speak to an elder in the family, like an aunt or uncle, who can convince him to give marriage a thought. There will be lots of adjustments to be done when there is another woman in the house. All these years, your dad and you have lived the way you wanted, the presence of this other woman may bring a drastic change in lifestyle. It is better that your father and you have a man-to-man talk. Let him put forward his apprehensions and fears and you can give your opinion about it. Ultimately, it is his call. You cannot force him into remarriage, you can only suggest and hope that it happens.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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