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'I want to seek closure and move on...'

Dear Diana,
I was in a relationship with a guy for about eight months. We then drifted apart and went our ways six years ago. We didn't keep in touch. I am now married, but not a single day has passed without thinking about him. Recently, I bumped into a pal of his. I was meeting him after years. We got talking and he filled me in with what was happening on my ex's front. He is also married and stays in Pune. I now have the urge to meet him. I think if I talk to him or meet him, I will get that sense of closure from him and move on. The common friend feels I should not try to get in touch with him and let things remain where they are — in the distant past. Though he has given me his new cell number, I do not know if I should call him. What do I do? Listen to my heart or the common pal?
— Pratha

 

Dear Pratha,
If you talk to him and meet him, you might just rekindle the romance. As you are married, it will be termed as an extramarital affair. In a way, his pal is right in letting things remain where they are — in the past. Your ex-guy is also married, so you will also create problems for him. You are eager for that last goodbye which never happened when you two went your ways. You seem to be still grieving over the lost relationship, and feel it might help you heal. This is understandable, but your ex-flame might just not want to meet you or return your calls. This will cause you further misery and aggravate your pain. You will then long for him even more. Given the situation, avoid trying to get in touch with him. Let things remain where they are. It is time you move on and build a lasting marriage, instead of thinking about him and what went wrong in the past.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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