'I wanted him to be my best buddy, but he wanted more...'

I shared this great bond with a co-worker. Initially we barely spoke, but I used to always find him looking at me from his cubicle. One day, he approached me for some work-related issue. We had a long conversation...

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I shared this great bond with a co-worker. Initially we barely spoke, but I used to always find him looking at me from his cubicle. One day, he approached me for some work-related issue. We had a long conversation. We got along well and we started to spend time together. He would tease me and I would tease back. It was a happy time for us. We could talk for hours at end. We both knew each of us were married — we lived for the moment. Then he became demanding and wanted to get physical. When I would stop him, he would get angry and sulk. Now he has completely stopped talking to me. I did make an attempt to question him, but he did not give a reply. Recently he quit his job and now there is no contact with him. I often wonder why he behaved like this and what went wrong in the relationship. He would tell me that he would be my buddy forever. I miss him a lot and really don't know what to do.
— Neesha


Illustration/ Amit Bandre 

Dear Neesha
You thought that you had found a best buddy with whom you could spend hours together, but there was something else playing on his mind. It is clear that he valued your friendship, but somewhere down the line he got demanding. He was perhaps whiling away time so that you could get more comfortable with him. The fact that when you refused, he would sulk is a clear indication that he did not cherish the friendship or else he would not have pressurised you to get physical. This man had many other things on his mind. Now that he has moved away from the scene, let him remain in the past. Lessons learnt, next time be wary of such friendships. You miss him because you felt he would be your buddy forever, give yourself some time to heal and mourn the loss of a friend.

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