'I'm scared of physical intimacy...'

Dear Diana,
I have been with my boyfriend for almost six months, but on the physical intimacy front, things are not at all well. He feels I am frigid and behave like an old woman. It isn’t through lack of trying on my part. I’m scared I’m bad at sex and he’s only found this out now. I don't know what to do.
- Kiya

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Kiya,
The prospect of engaging in physical intimacy shouldn’t be something that you fear. You may be of a shy disposition or you suffer from some kind of trauma. Ponder about what makes you behave in a particular way. Also, tell your boyfriend about your problem. If he is loving and caring, he will understand your fears. You should have a frank discussion with him. Physical intimacy is about displaying your affection for your partner. You can infuse physical intimacy with playful passion and teasing each other as well. You can’t make a plan, just go with the moment.

Dear Diana,
My guy tells me that he no longer finds me interesting. We have been together for almost two years. He may have been forthright, but it has made me wonder what image I portray of myself. I am 24 and he is my first boyfriend. He is outgoing and can be the life of a party while I am a homebody and would prefer to be in one corner at a bash. We are totally the opposite of each other. What do I do to improve his perception of me?
- Ramya

Dear Ramya,
As they say opposites attract each other and that is the reason you were drawn together. Over time your guy realised that you were a tad boring for his company. Perhaps you cannot keep pace with his level of enthusiasm. His comments may have left you feeling disheartened, but at least he was honest. Loosen up a bit, it is difficult, but not impossible.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012



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