'Life after divorce is causing new problems...'

Dear Diana,
I am a divorcee with two young daughters. My ex-husband meets them over the weekends and during school vacations. This means I have to still see him and it’s really hard for me. I am wrapped up in all different emotions for him and I just don’t know how to move on when I have to see him all the time.

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre

To be frank, I thought a divorce would end my misery, but it is posing new problems for me. We were constantly squabbling and could never see eye-to-eye on anything. I found him irritating and things got so out of control that a separation was the only way out. How do I deal with all this? My daughters are fond of him, so there is no way that I can stop them from meeting him. With every passing day, I sometimes feel I took a hasty decision. There are moments of regret too. All this is making me miserable.
— Jacintha

Dear Jacintha,
There is no point looking back now. All this should have been taken into consideration before taking such a drastic step. He may be your ex-husband, but he will always be the father of your daughters. You cannot stop them from seeing him nor can you tell him not to meet them. You should have weighed all the pros and cons before taking the divorce. Some people do regret the decision, especially when they feel lonely. They realise the grass is not exactly greener on the other side. Getting divorced is a huge step for any relationship. You wanted a way out, so learn to deal with the aftermath of a break-up. Instead of getting worked up every time he comes to see your daughters, just let things be. You lead the life you want, let him play the father to your kids. You chose this life, so work towards a happy state.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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