'Living-in with my girlfriend is posing problems...'

Dear Diana,
I am having issues with my live-in girlfriend. We have been together for three years and ever since we began living together six months ago, I think we have lost the spark in the relationship. We are together just for the heck of it. In the first month, we were amazingly intense, but over the past month we are having troubles. We just don't communicate and have gotten to the point that it will be over soon. We keep fighting over household issues such as cleaning and grocery shopping. We are both confused as well as bitter over the change of scene. When we were not living in, we got along very well. I sometimes wonder if we made the right decision to stay together. Most of our problems have arisen after we began living in.
— Zubin

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Zubin, 
It looks like you are getting at each other's throats due to the constant proximity. You need more than love to keep a relationship alive. When you decided to live-in, you should have sat down and discussed about sharing the domestic stuff. You just started living-in, not realising all the other daily stuff that has taken a toll on your relationship. Communication, trust, understanding are vital in a relationship. You say you do not communicate, so it is clear that things are going downhill. If you feel that there is something lacking in your relationship, what has stopped you from talking about it? Right now the scenario looks like you have hit a rough patch and each of you do not want to resolve the situation. If you want to continue living-in, it is time you started speaking instead of being adamant and sticking to your guns. With this kind of attitude, the relationship is certainly doomed.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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