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MiD DAY humour: We talk to Tendulkar's old bats

Updated on: 05 September,2009 07:45 AM IST  | 
Hemal Ashar | hemal@mid-day.com

As Sachin Tendulkar begins a fresh innings with a new bat, his old bats speak to Hemal Ashar about their exit

MiD DAY humour: We talk to Tendulkar's old bats

As Sachin Tendulkar begins a fresh innings with a new bat, his old bats speak to Hemal Ashar about their exit

Sach, yaar. These divorce cases are becoming just as fataafat as T20 cricket these days. Yesterday, just like that, Sachin Tendulkar, said goodbye to us, old bats. From today, we hear that he is picking up a new willow.




We could become the classic weeping willows but, then, since the divorce has been amicable, let's remember the good times.

In fact, we remember with a laugh how we have sent the ball crashing to the ropes, or soaring above heads as Sach was at his most destructive. As bats, it was fun to see the bowler's face crumble, his shoulders sag and his footsteps falter, as Sachin swung us around. We always gave a little chuckle and even sledged the bowler a bit, but I admit we had to be more careful since stump microphones came in. Imagine a bat being booked for sledging! Ha ha, I bet we could have made history.

Everybody thinks it is easy being Sachin's bat, but sometimes, we have had hard times too. In fact, during the 2003 World Cup as Sachin carted Shoaib Akhtar all over the ground, the noise was deafening. We actually burst an ear drum and had to visit an ENT (Ears Nose and Throat) specialist after that innings.

Like, in every marriage, there have been heartbreaks along with the hurrahs. Like after the Shoaib drubbing, the way Sachin got out on four in the 2003 World Cup final. From deafening, the noise in that stadium was deathly all the way back to the pavilion.

Remember, how we formed a little puddle of tears in Chennai, 1999? Sachin made a ton against Pakistan, but we still lost the match. Losing to Pakistan, made even us bats, who many call inanimate, taste bitter ashes in our mouth. When Sachin would get bowled for a duck, he would sometimes hit us hard against the ground in disappointment. Then, back home, it would be back to practise as he knocked the daylights out of us.

It is good we are as tough as teak truly, because even as we retire, comes the news that we, as Sachin's bats, might soon face murder charges. For murdering numerous bowling attacks all over the world. Oops. Got to run and look for a lawyer to apply for bowlu2026err, bail we mean!

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