'My best buddy is acting tough...'

Dear Diana,
Something seems to be the problem with my best friend. We have been close since childhood. We attended the same school and college. Last year we started working. I have to put in long hours at work as I am employed in a shipment company. My weekly off is not always on a Sunday as we work in rotation. As my pal works in a public relations firm, she gets the weekend off. It is difficult for me to give her time, so she feels that I am ignoring her. At the same time, when I have a day off, she is at work. For the past couple of months, we have not met. She has been telling another common friend that I do not need her and that I have made new friends at work, so I do not care for her. This is not the case as I am genuinely busy. How do I explain to her that my job is demanding and exacting? As I am still new, I cannot afford to make any mistakes at work. What do I do? I have been trying to reach her, but she is acting tough. Should I just ignore her?
— Marissa

Dear Diana

Dear Marissa,
Your pal is a demanding person, so she is refusing to see the truth. All this while she seems to have been calling the shots in your friendship. Now that you are not devoting time to her, she is feeling neglected and left out. You need to sit down and have a chat with her. Tell her that just because you cannot give time to her does not mean that you do not consider her as your close pal. She needs to be reassured that the equation between you and her has not changed. Just because you do not meet her everyday or do not speak to her daily does not mean that you do not value the friendship. If she understands, she will be at ease, if she does not, then you need to let her be.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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