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'My boyfriend can't make up his mind...'

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. Six months ago, he started behaving funny and stopped talking to me. So I just kept quiet. After about 15 days, he got in touch with me and begged me to take him back saying he wanted time off. Everything was normal again. Last month out of the blue, he again left me saying he thought I was ready for the next step in our relationship, but he wasn't. Now, again he has got in contact with me. He says he misses me and that he wants to be back in my life. My parents have told me to steer clear of this guy who just does not seem to decide what he wants to do in life. He now tells me he is willing to take our relationship to the next level. I really can't understand why he behaves in such a manner. He uses me according to his convenience.
— Janaki

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Janaki,
Your boyfriend appears to be a jerk. He just can't decide whether he wants to be with you — or not. He appears and disappears from your life according to his whims and fancies. You cannot sustain a relationship when one of the partners behaves in such an odd manner. Your guy needs to decide what he wants in life. He is not at all mature and responsible. You have no clue what is going on in his mind. Your parents are right in warning you about him. He just cannot be trusted due to his erratic behaviour. Tell him exactly how you feel about the situation. It is time he realised that he cannot behave in such a manner. You need to tell him in no uncertain terms that if he keeps breaking off only to have you again in life, there is no point in continuing in the relationship. Your boyfriend it appears is only there to make you feel miserable and lonely. You deserve better than this guy with a wavering mind. Give him an ultimatum and then decide accordingly if you want to continue with him or not.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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