Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
Q. I like my boyfriend's posts on Facebook and Instagram, but he doesn't like my posts. He likes posts by other women though, who also like his posts. What do I do?
A. You should lie down for a while and try figuring out just what the problem is. I don't know you, but it's a boring question so I'm going to hazard a guess and assume your posts are boring too. What's the big deal if he likes posts by other women or they like his posts anyway? You're the one he's having a relationship with. Don't confuse someone's presence on social media with who they are in real life.
Q. Is it okay to have a 'friends with benefits' relationship? I am not looking for commitment.
A. There isn't anything inherently wrong with the idea of having friends with benefits, provided you know what you're getting yourself into. The first thing you have to acknowledge is that your relationship doesn't really have any rules or boundaries, which may be great for now, considering you're not looking for commitment, but can also be a problem the minute you think it can lead to something else. When your partner doesn't expect any rules today, he's not going to change his mind tomorrow just because you have. Secondly, you have to get used to the fact that your physical relationship isn't going to make you feel connected with your partner on an emotional level, which actually goes a long way towards making physical intimacy great. Lastly, keep in mind that this is going to annoy one of you at some point, whether you like it or not, because one of you is going to end it. If you are aware of the pitfalls, you can still do a few things to avoid too many complications. Don't discuss anything meaningful, for one, and forget about quality time or speculation about the future. And email a few months later to tell me how you're doing, because I'm curious.'
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