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'My daughter has stopped talking to me...'

Dear Diana,
I am a single mother and have a daughter who is 14 years old. My husband passed away when she was six months old. So there is nothing she remembers about her father. Initially, when she was young she would keep asking why she did not have a father like the others, but as she grew older she understood. I am 36. After all these years I have found someone. He is a widower with no kids. Ever since my daughter has learnt about it, she refuses to talk to me.
— Usha

Dear Diana
Illustration/ Amit Bandre

Dear Usha,
Your daughter has got undivided attention all these years so she feels that she will now have to vie for attention with someone else. It is understandable that she has her set of apprehensions, so it is imperative that you put all her fears to rest. It will be tough, but you have to make her understand your need for love and companionship. Be genteel in your approach and give her time. She looks upon the guy as an intruder in your lives, so you need to tell her that things won’t change between you and her.

Dear Diana,
I don’t like my guy’s pals at all. I find them irritating and they influence him a great deal. He loves to spend time with them and I feel he loves them more than he loves me. When I tell him about my distaste for them, he  gets annoyed and does not talk to me.
— Rabia

Dear Rabia,
You might to be in an agitated state of mind as you feel he is not giving you due attention. By showing that you don’t like his friends, you are only distancing yourself from him. There is a place for you and for his pals in his life. Remember a partner has his place while friends also have their place in a person’s life. They too are important. Chances are he is spending more time with his pals because of your behaviour.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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