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My daughter won't say what's going on in her love life

Dear Diana,
My 18-year-old daughter is having an affair but she thinks we are not aware of it. My husband and I tried bringing up the topic on the dinner table a few days ago but she preferred to keep mum. It's frustrating at times to realise that we've become strangers when we were the ones who brought her up and nurtured her to become what she is today. We would be happy with her decision, whatever it is, but why should we be the last to learn about her choice.


Illustration/ Satish Acharya

-- Bushra

Dear Bushra,

You have been snooping on your daughter and she's not liking it one bit. Obviously you have gathered information from her pals or others who may have gone and told her about it. First, you have to make her realise that if anyone can understand and be there for her it is you. It is for that very reason you should go slow and show understanding. You may feel terrible to have someone tell you about her affair. Remember she is in love and failing to detect other people's sensitivities. You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your daughter and explain that she need not hide things from you. Be tactful otherwise your daughter might turn more rebellious. May be she is afraid how you will react, so you need to tell her that this will not be the case.

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