My 26-year-old daughter got engaged recently. Four days later, she began to have doubts. She was in a long-term relationship with a guy who dumped her. After much heartache, she agreed for an arranged marriage barely four months after her guy went his way. Now she seems to have developed cold feet. This has been going on for two weeks. She says she still loves her ex, who has moved on in life. How can I help her?
Your daughter has not moved on in life. She needs closure from her earlier relationship. As they say time heals all wounds, so instead of getting her engaged within four months after her break-up, you should have waited for a while. Her mind is still not clear what she wants while her heart still pines for her ex. Give her some time to grieve and overcome her loss. For now just let her be, till she is able to move on.
We got married last year, after living together for nearly a decade. I was the one that was keen to get married. Since we've been married things have been okay, not amazing, but not terrible either. However, there was more excitement in our life when we weren't married. For the past few months, I feel that we should not have got married. It's like we are bored of each other within months.
After marriage, you have stepped into a zone in which life has become a routine. The romance may have gone out of the window due to the strains of family and work life. Now that you are husband and wife you seem to be taking each other for granted. Instead of worrying, take a look at what you have together, and confront what needs to be done. Work on the relationship anew to bring back that spark you had.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012