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My days as a flirt ended, began again after dhokha

Updated on: 10 March,2010 10:44 AM IST  | 
Diana |

I used to be a flirt

My days as a flirt ended, began again after dhokha

Dear Diana,

I used to be a flirt. Flirting with girls became sort of like... an addiction. Later on, I fell in love with a girl who changed me completely. Our affair continued three years. Sometime later, I was arrested under false accusations and put behind bars for four months.

While in jail, my friends told me my girlfriend was having another affair. I didn't believe it. When I was released, she showed me that she is still in love with me and could not handle the separation. But my friends told me that she was lying and that I should not trust her. So, one day, I followed her, found her hand in hand with another guy and even saw them kissing each other.

The next day, I asked her where she was the previous day. She replied that she was with her friend. I told her that I had seen her with her "friend" but she still maintained that they're friends. For the past month now, she keeps talking to him the whole night and roams around with him in the day. Whenever I call her, she disconnects the call. I truly love her and she takes advantage of it.

She now tells me that she has slept with him and that she wants to be with both of us. She says she wants to marry me but she can't stop being friends with him. And so, I'm back to flirting. Just last week, I slept with a girl and felt very guilty about it. I don't understand what's wrong with me. Even if I talk to other girls now, I feel something inside. I want to leave my girlfriend but can't forget her. I don't understand why she is being this way. Is it because of the police record or my bad luck?


Darren



Dear Darren,

She brought constructive and positive change in your romantic life. But after three years of being together, it does seem absurd to assume that four months of separation could change her that much. But there has to be backstory to this whole affair story.u00a0

You DID catch her red-handed. Why is she with this guy? Why is she being impractical in insisting that she wants to be with both of you? In the worst-case scenario, you will have to accept that it's overu00a0 and that she's at least being honest about everything else after you told her that you discovered her infidelity firsthand.
u00a0
She can't marry you and continue being friends with the other guy (in the sense that she is implying). I think it would be best if you let go of her for the very obvious reason that she has no right to judge you if you know that you are innocent.u00a0 Also, if she is playing hard to get, it's a clear sign that she wants out. read between the lines.

My mom's lying... GF can't be a bad girl!

Dear Diana,

I love a girl. We've been in love for a month now and have already decided that we want to marry. She has also met my mother who tells me she is a bad girl. I know my mom is lying. My girlfriend and I so want to be together! How do I tell my mom I'm ready for marriage... but only to my girlfriend?
u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0
Rahil

Dear Friend,

It depends if you are living under the same roof as your parents. If you are, you will need their consent. Besides, you have known this girl for all of one month. Are you sure you know her enough to want to marry her? And you can't afford to antagonise your mother if you are living under the same roof. Try to work it out.



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