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'My ex is married, but I am still in touch with him...'

Dear Diana,
Last year, my ex-boyfriend wanted to break up with me as his family did not approve of me. But I did not, so things did not change between us. Seven months ago, he got married. We are still talking to each other, even though it is now difficult for him to meet me often. He is also engulfed in guilt now when we get physical. This often leads to a fight between us. Last month, he messaged me to say that we should not meet, but stay in touch over phone. I said it was ok even though I missed him dearly. After that it's always been me who's messaged him first. Last week, I rang him and he was out, he called me back and we talked for about an hour. That was the first time I heard his voice and it did make me very happy. I'm now missing him again so much and just want to speak to him again, but I keep wondering if he's moved on or if he probably thinks I'm after him. I just don't know what to do. Do I message him or do I keep missing him with no contact?
— Jasmine

 

Dear Jasmine,
It is clear that your ex guy is finding it difficult to find time for you. He is engulfed in guilt, but at the same time, he cannot tell you to go your way. He may not want to hurt you, knowing fully well that you are not willing to let go. You should stop calling him and let him be. By calling him frequently you will not be able to overcome him. Remember he is married and he is indulging in an extramarital affair with you. Sooner or later he will get caught which will cause an upheaval in his life, his wife's as well as yours. Just give a thought to his wife — she has no clue what her hubby is doing behind her back. Stop all communication with him and let him work on his marriage. If he really cared for you, he would have married you.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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