'My fiance doesn't like it when I chat with other guys...'

Apr 03, 2015, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I got engaged three months ago. I am of a friendly disposition and have been in touch with all my pals from school and college days as well where I worked previously. We often hang out together. There are several guys in the group, and this is irritating my fiancé. Once he accompanied me for an outing, and ended up accusing me of having an affair with one of the guys. I was appalled, as it was just harmless chatting. Ever since we have been fighting. He says I cannot be friendly with guys. I am part of two WhatsApp groups consisting of my pals, and he doesn't approve of me being a part of it either. He also wants me to hang out with him and not with my bunch of pals in my free time. I have been balancing my time with him, my pals as well as work. It is not that I am ignoring him.
— Noyonika

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Noyonika,
Your guy appears to be insecure and of a suspicious nature. He perhaps has not maintained contact with his student day pals so he does not know what that friendship means. There is a life beyond home and family. The bonds that you have made in your younger days are forever. It is not that you are hanging out with them all the time leaving him in the lurch. He can also be part of the chat groups so that he knows what everyone is talking about. It is all harmless banter. There is no point in fighting daily over who to talk to — and not. How can he not trust you? You need to do a serious rethink about this guy. Right now you are not even married, but he is so demanding. After he ties the knot, he might draw up a code of conduct on how you should behave. This is just not done. Have a talk with him and tell him exactly how you feel about the entire situation. If he does not agree, I suggest you walk out of the relationship.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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