I'm 20 and lately feel let down by my gang of friends. I do so much for them to show my love and loyalty to them, but they have been avoiding me and are being distant from me
Dear Diana
Dear Diana,
I'm 20 and lately feel let down by my gang of friends. I do so much for them to show my love and loyalty to them, but they have been avoiding me and are being distant from me. As far as I can remember, I haven't done anything to offend them. I know for fact that they have gone out without me on several occasions in the past month. When I asked them about it, they said it was a last-minute programme so they could not include me. They are also constantly making fun of me and taking up my case. They know I get irritated and frustrated, so they do it repeatedly. I find their behaviour sickening. They were not like this earlier. There has been a recent addition to the gang and I feel all this is being done at her behest. What can I do to be part of the group again?
— Trupti
Illustration/Amit Bandre
Dear Trupti,
If they have been your pals for years, a sudden change in their behaviour is surprising. It could be due to the latest entrant in the group, but what is even more strange is that they are toeing her line. She might be a dominating, bossy woman so wants her way. What you need to do is to sit down and talk it out with your gang. It is better to meet them without the latest addition. Tell them exactly what is going on in your head. Voice your apprehensions and fears to them. They need to be frank and forthright. If they feel their friendship with you has run its course, they need to tell you why. Perhaps they feel the new person in the group makes for more engaging conversation than you. Once you know the real picture decide whether you want to be part of the gang. If their behaviour towards you remains unchanged, there is no point in continuing with the friendship. Be part of a group that respects you for who you are.
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