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'My girlfriend does not like to socialise...'

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend is a caring and lovely person. The only thing that I do not like about her is her attitude to life. I wish she was more of a go-getter and of an outgoing nature. She's boring and laidback. She will not do anything until she's forced to. She says she is happy to be at home the entire day, reading and watching TV besides doing the household chores. A quiet life is what she prefers. I don't know whether we have a future together with the way things are. I am the party-hearty types and love to be with people. I often feel that I will be tearing my hair in frustration on trying to tell her to change her outlook towards life. But she is happy in her cocoon. She has no friends and limits her socialising which is mainly restricted to stuff like family events.
— Maneesh

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Maneesh,
You can make her come out of her shell. She appears to be the shy, quiet types. Talk about your feelings for her and tell her you love her except for this aspect of hers. It is up to you to make her loosen up and make her more outgoing. Instead of pointing fingers, try and make the relationship lively by getting her into conversations, especially when she is tongue-tied. It will take time, so be patient. You cannot expect her to change overnight or in a jiffy. It will take her a considerable period of time to come out of her cocoon. Hang out with her in public places where she can see how people interact with each other. As she has always been house-bound, she will find it uncomfortable when she is with people around. If she refuses to change, then it is your call whether you want to continue in the relationship or not.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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