Dear Diana, I'm a 20-year-old music student in love with a girl from my class. We get along very well but she's very bossy when it comes to music. She's entitled to her opinions, yes, but she comments on everything I work on as if she is my self-appointed critic. Sometimes her honesty appears forced. I can do the same to her work but I refrain and keep my views to myself. I've tried telling her that I don't expect encouragement from her either. It's amusing that I enjoy being with her except when the topic shifts to music -- the reason that brought us together. - Eliyas
Illustration/ Satish Acharya
Dear Eliyas, It appears that you are facing the music! But why are you allowing yourself to be in such a situation? The problem with guys with bossy girlfriends is that they let them get their way and then crib. You alone are to blame for the situation. What stops you from giving your viewpoint? When one partner tries to dominate, there is bound to be resentment. Make sure that from time to time you let her know that she is becoming overbearing. It's important not to fall into the role of the guy who is pressured to entertain her viewpoints always. Next time she gets overtly critical about your music, tell her what you feel too. She may consider herself as a big critic and do it for your well-being but as it is having the opposite effect, you need to tell her to go slow.