'My girlfriend now wants me to be her pal...'

Dear Diana,
My girl is treating me as an option. First, she was totally into me. Then she decided to take time off, but came back in two months. She then wanted to concentrate on her career and now wants me as a buddy. I have been left high and dry by her mood swings. I met her in May 2013 at a common friend's birthday bash. For a year, we were going strong, but then she shocked me by constantly changing her behaviour. Can a girl change her opinion of a guy as she gets to know him? Or am I just stuck in the friend zone and deluding myself? She refuses to give me a proper reply. Last week, she invited me home when her flatmates were out. She then treated me to a meal and said that her constant change in behaviour was due to family pressures. She said that they were unaware of my existence, so when they build up the pressure on her to get married, she is then forced to make changes in her attitude.
— Niranjan

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Niranjan,
Your girl is mighty confused and does not know what she wants in life. She is oscillating like a yo-yo from one behavior to another. She knows you are taking her mood swings in your stride, so she can do whatever and get away with it. She knows that you will take her back. It is high time that you take a stand. Tell the girl in no uncertain terms that she cannot be there for you at her will. She needs to decide whether she wants to be with you or not. The sooner she does this better. She also has to inform her family members about your existence. At this rate, one day she will dump you and walk off with someone her family approves. So if you want to avoid heartbreak and being dumped, tell her to decide what she wants to do in life.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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