'My girlfriend suddenly finds me irritating...'
I am 31 and my girlfriend is 26. We have been together for almost two years. Everything was going fine for us until two weeks ago. She now finds me extremely annoying and irritating. She says I drive her up the wall. I really do not understand this sudden change in her behaviour. When I ask her what she finds irritating in me, her reply is everything about me. We are still together, but it is not the same as before. I have invested a lot in the relationship by way of time and making things work. I am keen to get married and she is aware of it. A month ago, we were discussing about taking the relationship to the next level. Her volte-face has now left me dejected. Is she hiding something from me? Is there another guy on her scene? Why can’t she tell me the truth? I cannot focus on work or anything else due to her difficult behaviour.
It is clear that your girl has lost interest in you. She is making excuses to get you out from her life. Her sudden changed stance could be due to the presence of someone else on the scene. This is perhaps her way of dropping hints so that she can go her way. At the same time, she is not being honest and telling you what is on her mind. Maybe you went overboard which perhaps annoyed her. If this is the case, you can correct the situation. Tell her you will try and not be overbearing. Work on the relationship again, especially in those areas she finds irritating. But also try explaining to her that this is the way you are and to accept it just as the way you have accepted her. However, you can do all this only if she talks to you and reveals what is on her mind. The way things are it looks like she does not want you. So tell her to sit down and talk things out with you in a forthright manner.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012