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'My girlfriend thinks I talk too much...'

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend is quiet and reserved while I'm talkative by nature. She calls me a motormouth. We have been together for eight months. I really love her, but she keeps telling me that she is now afraid to tell me anything. My girlfriend feels I will tell someone, so she's always guarded and thinks twice before telling me anything. Even when we are talking on the phone, she suddenly goes quiet as she feels I just do not stop and go on talking. I do not give her a chance to talk is her complaint. All this is causing a friction in our relationship. She feels I am not trustworthy enough. I really do not know how to tell her that I do not blurt out what she tells me to others. I try hard to please her, but she somehow tries to score a point by focussing on my inadequacies. I think it is not correct of her to go and tell our common pals about how I do not allow her to talk. This is far from the truth. Also, why is she now talking offence when in the earlier days she had no such issues?
– Asit

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Asit,
Your girlfriend's fears and apprehensions are unjustified. It is not as if you have revealed what she has told you to anyone that she needs to be guarded. You were attracted to her and so was she. As they say opposites attract. But in your case it now causing constant fights between you two. It looks like your girlfriend has developed a mental block. She has this image of you being talkative and a motormouth. This itself is offending her. She may not be as outgoing as you — to each his own. At the same time she needs to realise that she likes you for what you are. So why this sudden stance about being too talkative? Once she realises that you are not revealing anything, she will regain the confidence she had in you. So sit down and talk to her about it and put her fears to rest.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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