'My grandmother does not approve of my girlfriend...'
I am close to my maternal grandmother. After my mother's demise when I was six years old, she has been my world. I live with my grandparents as my father remarried. He stays with his family elsewhere. I am 27 and have been friendly with this girl for the past year. I feel she is the one for me. My grandmother, however, thinks she is not the right choice. She has met my grandparents and there is nothing that I have kept hidden in the relationship. My grandmom feels that I am blinded in love so can't see the real picture. She feels the girl is a gold digger and is high maintenance. She has been pressurising me to leave her. I don't want to lose my love. At the same time, I know my grandmom will be devastated if I am adamant about the girl. What do I do? Why does my grandmother have such an image of the girl I love?
You will have to follow a middle path. You need to convince your grandmother about your choice. I am sure she wants the best for you. As you have been with her all these years, she is keen that you get the right girl. She is concerned about you. Put all her fears and apprehensions to rest. Remember she has brought you up, so she feels she should have a say in all important decisions in your life. Have you ever reasoned with your grandmom why she is frowning at your choice? You appear to be on a collision path and need to handle the situation with tact. Let your grandmom have her say and then reason it out. At the same time, if you have made up your mind and are determined to marry your girlfriend, she cannot stop you. At 27, you are mature enough to know what is right and wrong. If you want to seek your grandmother's blessings, try and convince her. It would be better if you and your girl discuss it with her. Be patient and do not take hasty decisions.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012