Dear Diana,
I have been with my guy for almost two years. He's nice and loving, but there is one thing that I do not like about him – the fact that he always wants to be in control of things. He has to have the upper hand. I've tried talking to him about it, but he doesn't seem to understand. There have been instances when we are out and everything is going fine. I only have to say I do not want to go where he wants to go, or do not want to eat what he wants, and he sees red. He flares up when he does not get his way. I feel as though I'm at a loss because of his highhanded ways. He tells me that it is his nature and he can't help it. How do I help him get rid of this habit?
— Vaishali

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Vaishali,
Your guy is a control freak. He wants an upperhand in everything because he thinks it is always his way or the highway. He may be nice and sweet, but this quality of his is not at all endearing. It is enough to cause a strain in the relationship. Also, you have allowed him to take the lead so he calls the shots in the relationship. It is not right on his part to tell you what to do and what not. He cannot tell you what to eat and what not to eat or where to go and not to go. Tell him to put himself in your shoes and gauge the situation. Try knocking sense into his head and tell him that being highhanded spells boom for the relationship. You are better off without a man who dictates terms to you. He may be nice, but that's not enough. In a relationship partners have to be equal. If he does not make amends, then it is time to take stock of the situation.