'My guy beat me black and blue...'

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend hit me after a heated argument. We were shouting at each other and in a fit of rage, he beat me black and blue. I was shocked that he could go to this extreme over a trivial argument. He later apologised when he realised the gravity of the situation. He has not stopped saying sorry since and promises that he will never do it again. I can't think straight at the moment, but should I forgive him and give him another chance? At the same time, when I think about it, I shudder. We have been together for over a year, but, of late, I am seeing the abusive side of him. He has become controlling and violent. A while ago, in a fit of rage he broke my cell phone. He often tells me not to test his patience. I am terrified of all this. How do I get back to the way things were when we first started going around? What made him change?
— Nayla

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Nayla,
You are seeing his true self now. Initially, he was wooing you, so he put on his good self forward. You may be in love with him, however you need to know what type of a guy he is. He can apologise for his behaviour, but this does not mean that he will not repeat his action. Next time, it could be worse. It will leave you emotionally and physically scarred. If you forgive him, he will feel he has the right to do it again and again and just say sorry and get away with it. Sit down and talk to him. It will be hard, but don't feel trapped. You are giving it your all in the relationship, but does he care? Don't be afraid to walk out of the it, if he repeatedly behaves in such a manner. There is no point being with a guy who does not care and respect you.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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