'My guy can't get over his ex-girlfriend...'

Dear Diana,
I have been with this guy for three months. He was in a relationship before and broke off just before he met me. When we started going out, he had told me about his ex. He was with her for three years and was quite serious. They had to separate as her family did not accept him. When she decided to marry someone her parents chose, he cut off ties with her. I thought he was over her, but I was mistaken. It appears that he is still pining for her as he keeps talking about her all the time. Initially, I thought he was trying to be honest and forthright about his past. But while talking to me last week, he confessed that he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend. He says he cannot get her out of his head. Ever since his revelation, I haven't been at ease. He also told me that he is keen on getting in touch with her.
— Moushami

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Moushami,
It appears that you are your guy's rebound. Hardly had he broken off with her, that you came in the scene. He did not have time to heal his broken heart. He needed some time off to grieve and over time the pain and loss would lessen. He may have honestly told you about what is going on in his head, but you have to help him overcome it. If he is still pining for her, there is no point. She is already married to someone else. Tell him that she dumped him, so why is he even thinking about her? If she really cared for him, she would not have married someone else. It is going to be difficult for you, but if you love him, you can help him overcome it. Also, he should refrain from getting in touch with her. He needs to remember that she is married, so things will get messy for her and him if he tries to meet her.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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