'My guy flares up at the slightest provocation...'
My boyfriend has severe anger management issues. He flares up every now and then. He keeps screaming at me and, at times, even when we are in public places...
My boyfriend has severe anger management issues. He flares up every now and then. He keeps screaming at me and, at times, even when we are in public places. I find it embarrassing when people stop to look at us. The other day, we were at a shopping mall and he lost his cool. He started screaming at me in full public view. All this while I used to keep quiet and not react, but now I cannot take it any more. It's clear that he has a problem on hand. I don't want to take any more nonsense from him. We have been together for three years and I can no longer be patient with him. I have spoken to his family members about it, but they just brushed it aside saying he has been like that since childhood. He gets angry, but then cools down. He, however, does not realise the pain that he causes me. How do I tell him that this habit of his is causing me a great deal of misery? How do I tell him to stop losing his cool?
Your boyfriend has a major anger management issue. As he is unable to control his anger, it is making him a monster. There are many people who flare up without any rhyme or reason. Some people experience anger to a greater degree than others. Anger is an emotion that is felt by everyone, but in your guy's case it goes to extremes. Your boyfriend needs help and counselling to help him keep his cool. A psychologist can help him deal with his problem. You also need to sit down and talk to him. Tell him it is causing havoc in the relationship. If he gets worked up for even the silliest of reasons, it will also take a toll on his health. When he is not in one of those explosive modes, try explaining to him how he makes life miserable for you by his outbursts.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012