'My guy has gone back on his word...'

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I have been together for six years. We have been living together for four years. He was offered a new job and we moved to Mumbai from Hyderabad in the second year of our relationship. He had decided that he would not visit social media sites because I had found him indulging in sex chats. I thought all was well in our relationship. But recently he gave me a big shock. I found out that he he had been visiting adult sites and indulging in sex chats. We argued about it. I asked him where he saw us in the future and his answer was, "Still together, but not married". He says he will marry me some day, but he's not ready yet. I don't know when he will be. Do I forgive him and wait till he is ready as to not give up on a six-year-old relationship? Or do I go my way? We have been sharing the rent and household costs. He sometimes tells me he needs me to foot his bills too.
— Shibani

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Shibani,
From the looks of it, this man cannot be trusted at all. He seems to be taking you for a merry ride. He has the audacity to tell you that he needs you to pay the bills. You may be in love, but it is time you see the real picture as well. Six years is a long time together and if he still errs, it is not acceptable. Despite a discussion of staying away from sex chats, he is still indulging in it. Perhaps it is his way to seek sexual gratification. Whatever the reasons, he has broken his promise. He has been evading the subject of marriage. So it is up to you to decide now whether you want to take his nonsense or move away. Sit down and tell him exactly how you feel about the situation. If he is willing to make amends, it is fine, it is better you go your separate way.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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