'My guy is in a hurry to get physical with me...'

Dear Diana,
I have been with this guy for two months now. He seems to be in a mighty hurry to get physical. Sex is always on his mind. Sometimes I feel the reason he is with me is to satisfy his physical urges. I want to take my time about getting physical with him. Right now I want to talk and hang out with him, but he does not seem to understand. He is insisting on a physical relationship, but I am not ready for it – at least not for now. Whenever I stop him and refuse to give in, he gets angry. Then he will stop talking to me and keep on sulking. The situation is like he is going all out to please, but I am spoiling things for him. Most often I give in for the fear of losing him. At the same time I feel guilty doing something I do not want to do. How do I make him understand my point of view? I am 22 and he is 28.
— Ravina

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Ravina,
He might think it is a guy thing and is forcing himself on you. But this guy needs to know exactly how you feel and he needs to respect your feelings. You have your reasons for not doing it. If this guy really cares for you, he will understand how you feel and why you are saying so. He needs to respect your wishes. Your guy can't force you into a physical relationship at this juncture as it appears that you are unsure of a future with him. Tell him you like him and want to spend time with him. Communication holds the key to a successful relationship. You will really have to knock sense in his head. If he acts tough, you will have to do a rethink whether you want to continue in the relationship.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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