Dear Diana,
I met this guy three months ago at a common pal’s birthday bash. We have been hanging out together and going for movies and dinners. We have also been talking for hours on the phone. We get along well and are definitely attracted to each other. I feel he wants to take the next step, but he does not know how to do it.

So I am also playing along. Right now, we have not got physical, but I am hoping that he will make the first move soon. He gave me a Valentine card with a handwritten note saying that he cares for me and that I am special to him. I sometimes feel that I am intimidating him by my know-all loud banter.

I know for sure that he is attracted to me, but he does not know how to get going unlike the other guys. I was in a relationship earlier and that guy had got physical with me within a week. So why is this guy taking such a long time? Am I scaring him off with my talk? What is he scared about?

- Sarah

Illustrations/Amit Bandre
Illustrations/Amit Bandre

Dear Sarah,
Stop comparing him with your ex and how fast he was and how slow this guy is. Each person is different. This guy is playing it safe as he wants to be sure about his and your feelings. This is no race that you are competing in and that you have to get going fast. When the time is right, things will happen.

Perhaps your constant frank banter may be pushing him back. He does not know how you will react. So stop intimidating him with your loud talk. You might just be scaring him off. Instead you, too, can throw hints about your feelings for him.

Once he can gauge your thoughts for him, he will take the relationship to the next level. So till then be patient and give him a chance to know and understand you better.