'My guy is not serious about me...'

Dear Diana,
I've been in a relationship with this guy for over five years. I'm madly in love with him and we are living in. I am not sure, however, whether the feelings are mutual. He often says that he does not know what is in store in the future, even though he sometimes says things to make me think otherwise. So our relationship is complicated. Sometimes I feel he is just using me to satisfy his physical urges. It is like I am there for a purpose and as long as he is satisfied, he does not care. Living together also ensures that his life is sorted out. Like a wife I do his stuff and keep the house all neat and orderly. As I also contribute to the household finances, running a home is easier for him. I have tried to talk to him about my fears and apprehensions, but he brushes me off. I also often wonder why he is not ready to commit.
— Ameya

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Ameya,
You clearly know the problem areas, but you are still giving in to his demands. So you really can't point a finger at him. You are allowing yourself to be used according to his whims and fancies and from the looks of it, one day he might just dump you. The alarm bells have been ringing loud and clear, the faster you get the hint, the better for you. You are contributing to the home finances as well and you are there to do his laundry and dishes. It is a convenient arrangement for him. What you need to do is to sit down and talk out things with him. You need to tell him how you feel and what you are uncomfortable about. It is over five years you have been with him, but he is still unsure about the relationship nor does he want to commit. Depending on his response, you have to then decide whether he is worthy of your love.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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