'My guy is taking me for granted...'

Dear Diana,
I'm having major issues with my boyfriend. We have been together for almost two years. For the past three months, however, his attitude towards me has changed. Initially, I used to behave as if I was not affected, but I cannot take his nonsense anymore. He has been behaving in a highhanded manner and taking me for granted. He does what he wants to and according to his whims and fancies. It is always his way. Last week, we had a showdown after I gave him a piece of my mind. He was aghast that I could react in such a manner. He felt that he could get away with anything. He has no respect for me. Why should I always toe his line? For example, he would be all set to go out with me but would change his mind saying that he is not in the mood. But when he says something I have to do it. What is wrong with him? Why is he behaving in such an atrocious manner?
— Reyna

Dear Reyna,
Your two-year-old relationship seems to have hit a plateau. Your guy's recent change in behaviour is testimony to it. The boredom has crept into the relationship — the reason he's taking you for granted. Initially, you turned a blind eye, so he felt he could get his way. You conditioned him to be that way, by being too easy-going. He did what he wanted and you let him be. Now that you have started reacting, he can't handle it. Your sudden aggressive stance is taking him by surprise as this is something he did not expect from you. He thought you would take it in your stride. Now that you want to take stock of the situation, tell him exactly how you feel. He surely needs to know that a relationship is based on trust and respect. Both of which he is taking for granted. If he does not change, do a rethink about him and the relationship.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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