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'My guy wants me to do whatever he says...'

Dear Diana,
I have been with my boyfriend for about two years now. He always wants his way. I have to do everything he wants to do. My opinion does not matter. I had friends, but now they hardly speak to me because I haven't seen them in so long and my guy does not like some of them. I need my own life, but he gets annoyed when I say anything. I don’t know what to do as I am cut off from everything. I want to make him understand that my life is not just an extension of his.
— Heeba

Dear Diana

Dear Heeba
You need to be more assertive and voice your opinion. It appears that you have always played second fiddle to him, so he is used to having an upper hand. It is time you stop being the doormat and have your say. In a relationship, the partners are equal, your guy can’t dictate terms to you always. You are in a controlling relationship and you guy is paranoid about things always being his way. It is time you sit back and decide whether you want a future with such a guy.

Dear Diana,
My husband is not at all affectionate. We have been married for 13 years and I feel like we’ve lost our mojo. I have started resenting him and feel rejected in a way. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a bit of affection now and then. When I tell him he says it does not mean that he does not care for me.
— Raima

Dear Raima
Daily life and work pressures may have taken a toll on him. Or perhaps now after a decade, the spark has gone out of the marriage. He may not be demonstrative like you to express his affections, but what he says is true — it does not mean he no longer cares for you. It may be also due to his quiet disposition. Do something special for him to make him feel special too.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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