'My husband has a child from another woman...'

Dear Diana,
I have just found out that my husband had an affair some 24 years ago and had a child out of wedlock at his native place in Bihar. When the girl realised she was pregnant, she was instantly married to someone else. So for the world the child is not his, but of the woman's husband. This well-kept secret was leaked as the son is now 20 years old and looks a replica of my husband. This woman wants him to meet his father now. Her husband passed away three years ago and she has no other children. I found this out from a distant relative who, too, stumbled upon this explosive news. She even showed a snapshot of the boy and he does resemble my husband. We have two grown-up daughters. He has confessed to having an affair, but swears he knew nothing of the son. I am finding it hard to come to terms with this. He says the girl's marriage was fixed with someone else, so he stopped seeing her. I don't know whether to tell our daughters that they have a half-brother.
— Rumana

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Rumana,
This is certainly a blast from the past. The stuff you would find in the movies. This well-kept secret is out thanks to the woman's desire to make the son meet his father. She is doing all this now as her husband has passed away. Had he been alive, she would not have given it a thought as she had cheated on him. One way of reacting to it is to let it remain where it is — in the past. Let your husband pay the price for the follies of his past. There is no point digging up the past and upsetting the lives of your daughters. You will see your husband in new light no doubt, but he claims he did not know. So who to believe now? He can see the boy, but you have nothing to do with them.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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