My husband is quite a control freak. He wants everything to be done his way. If things do not go as he has planned, he throws a fit. He is also over possessive. He has drawn up a list of diktats for me. He tells me who to talk to, what to eat, what to wear and how to behave. I've tried talking to him about it, but it always ends up in a slanging match. He just tells me not to waste time arguing with him. We have been married for almost a year. It was an arranged marriage and I did not realise his controlling behaviour at that time. He was then sweet and concerned, but within two months of marriage he was a changed man. I even tried leaving him, but he sat down and explained to me that whatever he was doing was for my own good. What do I do?
Your hubby wants things to be done the way he wants because you are giving in to his demands. Stop being the doormat and be firm. Tell him clearly that his behaviour is driving you up the wall. He cannot dictate terms and tell you what to do. Do not let him invade in your own private domain. You need your own personal space. Tell him and make him understand that it is okay to go with the flow instead of leading a regimented life. If you feel suffocated in the marriage, just let go. There is no point in getting stifled and leading a life controlled by someone else. You perhaps deserve better if your hubby does not change his stance.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012