Dear Diana
I'm 28 and my husband is 32. He was a good-for-nothing, but I managed to knock sense into his head and change his attitude to life. Though he has mended his ways since the two years he has been with me, he still remains stubborn. He now wants to shift base from Mumbai to Hyderabad. I feel we are better off in Mumbai as our families are also based here. My guy, however, feels he can prove himself only if he gets away and achieves something on his own. I have tried to reason with him, but he is adamant in his behaviour. How do I explain to him that relocation is not as easy as it sounds? We will have to start from scratch. He feels there are better opportunities for him in Hyderabad. I do not know why he insists on being so difficult. I know that he has a friend who recently moved to Hyderabad. He has been telling him to move base. I do not understand how my husband can trust this man so blindly and follow him to Hyderabad.
— Mareesha

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Mareesha,
Your husband has his reasons to relocate. In his viewpoint, this is his way of proving to others that he can fend for himself. You do not want to be uprooted and that is understandable as all your near and dear ones are here. As a first step, talk to him about your apprehensions in moving to a new city. Do not just make assumptions as you will put him off. His friend who has shifted base to Hyderabad may be influencing him, but he knows him better than you know him. As he is his buddy, he trusts him. Try and convince him about the advantages of staying in Mumbai, but if he is still adamant, let him move there initially alone. After a while when you are convinced about what he is doing there, you can join him.