'My in-laws are making life hell for me...'

Dear Diana,
Ever since our marriage two years ago, I have been having issues with my in-laws. They were not in favour of the marriage and tried their best to stop it. They showed their displeasure during the ceremony itself. But my husband told me to be patient as he would convince them to accept me. Though they pretend that they accept me, the truth is far from it. He has a sister who is married, but drops in daily for lunch. When she is around, matters get worse. My in-laws then get an added impetus, to strike back. They keep passing comments on some pretext or the other. At times, I give it back to them, but then it backfires on me as they fill in my husband's ears as soon as he is back home from office. It is then made out to be that I am unnecessary creating issues. I am so fed up that I have been telling my husband to stay separately, but he refuses to listen. He says he cannot afford that expense.
— Poonam

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Poonam,
Staying separately means that your hubby will have to run two houses. He cannot give up on his old parents. As it is not financially viable, he is telling you a no. Your hubby has to explain to his parents and sister that daily nitpicking will not solve the issue. It is only adding to your dilemma and causing more strains in the relationship. Perhaps you need to be away from home for some hours. As they see you constantly, they are picking on you. Explore job options or take up some creative course. In this way, you too will have a life away from home. It has been two years, but your husband's family has not yet been able to accept you. So your patience is running out. One way is to react, but it will widen the rift. Try the option of ignoring their remarks. It will be tough and you will have to be extremely patient, but if they know that no reaction is coming their way, they might stop doing it.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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