'My live-in boyfriend does not want to marry...'

Dear Diana,
I have been living-in with my boyfriend for the last five years. He recently told me that although he is happy, he doesn't see where our relationship is going. After planning to buy a house and speaking about marriage and having children, he tells me that he doesn't see himself with either a family or marriage. We have decided to stay together until the lease on our flat runs out because he cannot afford to live there alone. I can't help, but feel that he's only staying with me because I share the rent and other bills with him. At the same time he tells me that he still loves me. At other times he says he can't be tied down with family commitments. I am confused by his behaviour. His parents have also given up on him. I have tried to speak to them, but they tell me he wants to be a free bird. What do I do?
— Anaina


Dear Anaina,
You need to give this guy an ultimatum as you are keen to take the relationship to the next level. Give him a deadline, if he still dilly-dallies, then you need to decide whether you want to continue in the relationship. You know well that this live-in relationship is a matter of convenience as you share the bills with him. He clearly knows that he can ill-afford to cough up the rent and other household costs on his own. He wants you to stick around till the lease of this place ends, so may be give him an ultimatum till then. If he mends his way and commits to take the relationship to the next level, stick around. If not, then you will have to break off and begin anew. You will have to deal with heartache and the pain of separation, but then continuing in the relationship is also making you miserable. It is time you made a choice and let him know that you are not around to help him pay
his bills.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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