I am 28 and living-in with my boyfriend. We have been together for almost two years. We share the rent and the household bills. Two months ago, he quit his job. Ever since, I have been paying all the bills single-handedly. He is finding it convenient that he does not have to bother about the money front. He has become lazy and spends most of his time watching TV. He has not been taking any efforts to find another job. He says he wants to pursue his dream of setting up a restaurant. But at the same time he is not working towards it. I do not know what he is up to when I am at work. The other day, the maid told me that after I leave for office, a lady visits him almost everyday. I do not know whether to believe her — or not. She thinks they are having an affair behind my back. I created a scene, but my guy says she is helping him realise his dream of being a hotelier. We have been squabbling a great deal. At the same time, I feel I don't really know whether I'm doing the right thing. What do I do? My life is a mess. My guy is behaving strange and difficult.
You have made it a habit to pay the rent and the household bills, so your live-in partner is taking it easy. He is pursuing his dream, but at the same time he needs to work towards achieving it. Why don't you meet this woman who drops in almost daily? This will put all your fears and speculations to rest. Instead of suspecting and listening to stories from the maid, find out what is going on first-hand. Creating a scene with your guy may have made you feel better, but it will lead to unnecessary bitterness. You need to sit down and have a frank chat with your partner. Sort out things with him so that you two can live in peace and get going with your life.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012