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'My love life is in the doldrums...'

Dear Diana,
My love life seems to have hit a roadblock. I feel dejected and don’t know what to do. I have known this girl for the past two years. She changed her job recently and has been so busy that she has no time for me.

Dear Diana
Illustration/Amit Bandre

I feel she does not care for me. We often end up fighting and she tells me she doesn’t need me in her life. Her new job leaves little time for anything else. I don’t know if I should just stick around and hope things get better.
— Vicky

Dear Vicky,
You need to give your girlfriend some time. It is clear that her new job is demanding, so give her time to settle in. As it is a new place, she can’t take chances as she has to prove herself. By being difficult with her, you are only adding to her woes. Take time off the relationship. Tell her that for the next two months, she should concentrate on her work. Once she gets attuned to the new routine, she will take time out for you, especially on weekly offs. A new job comes laced with a lot of anxieties and whether the decision was right, so extend a helping hand instead and be patient .

Dear Diana,
Earlier, my boyfriend used to be expressive and share his feelings with me. Nowadays, however even if we meet, he doesn’t talk much. Of late, he has turned quieter. I am starting to suspect that he’s not happy with me anymore. I feel he is bored of me and has someone else on the screen. I wonder why he even meets me. He is always busy on his cell phone.
— Ashti

Dear Ashti,
What has stopped you from asking him what is going on? Instead of speculating, tell him how you feel about his behaviour. There might be something that is worrying him. Once you get to know the exact cause, then decide your future course of action.

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