'My lover dumped me all of a sudden...'

Dear Diana,
I'm married, but having an affair with a married man. It has been about eight months that we have been together. He says he experiences great peace when I am around. Some days ago, I told him that he needed to take a call about our relationship. He developed cold feet and started ignoring me. He then started avoiding me. I feel like I have lost someone and I have been grieving ever since. When I would ask him what I meant to him, he said he did not know. When I would ask him if I was his best pal, he would say I was more than just a friend — I meant the world to him. It's clear that there is no future in the relationship. He wants to be with his wife, but at the same time turns to me for a good time. My head is a total mess, yet it's only him that I can think about all the time.
— Janaki

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite 

Dear Janaki,
The guy developed cold feet as he was with you only to satisfy his physical urge. When he realised you were getting serious about the relationship, he thought it was better to back off. This is usually what happens in extramarital affairs, when one partner turns serious, the other runs for cover. You have no future with this man. It is better you work on your marriage and let this guy be. He is back with his wife and you have been forgotten. If he really cared for you, he would not have treated you like this. This man is not looking for a relationship, just sex. If you expect him to come back to you, forget it as he won't. He has made a fool of you and before it rocks your married life, get going and work towards building your marriage. This guy was with you for some fun outside marriage, so be wary of him.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012



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