I am 31 and my girlfriend is three years older to me. She is a divorcee and we've been going out for about a year now. I wish to settle down with her although she is unsure. On top of that, my mother came to know about her marital past and she's now hellbent on knowing details about what went wrong with her marriage. Of course, her concerns are genuine, but still, I find it rather intruding to interrogate my girlfriend when I'm myself not interested in digging her past to know her better. I just love her for what she is today, not what she was earlier. My mother feels this woman is luring me in a trap. From what she has heard her former husband left her because of her excesses and demanding lifestyle. Should I ask my girlfriend about her past. I have told her everything about me, but she is not keen to reveal much about her.
Your mother's concerns are genuine because she cares for your well-being. She wants you to be happy and desires the best for you. What you find irritating about her behaviour is all for your well-being. Put yourself in her shoes, then you will understand better. Apart from your mother's concerns, it is also strange that she has not opened up about her past to you. There should not be anything hidden from each other in a relationship. You have told her the entire story of your life, but it is rather odd that she did not. It could be that she has something to hide or is not comfortable about. You also state that you are keen to marry her, but she does not show any such signs. You seem to be blinded by her love, it is time you found out the truth as well.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012