'My mother cannot cope after my father's death...'

Jun 09, 2014, 06:01 IST | Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I'm 23. My dad passed away a year ago. My mother suffers from depression. I want to be good to her, but she's a difficult person. She wasn't like this earlier. I feel physically drained from all the arguing with her. We fight all the while and it's never ending. I don't know what to do except put up with her. I am the only child. I wish dad was around.
— Hina

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Hina,
Your mother still cannot cope with the demise of your dad. She has been unable to move on in life and is feeling lonely and suffering from depression. You have to be understanding towards her and more importantly she needs medical help. She needs counselling urgently. By fighting with her, you are making her situation worse. You will need lots of patience when you are around with her. Try to be calm and let her be. It will be difficult, but you will have to. Also, seek help from some other family member who your mother is close to. If someone else is around, your mother will at least have someone else to talk to which will divert her attention from her loss.

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend is nice and loving, but extremely reserved. She will not say anything and I have to keep telling her to talk and express her opinions. At the rate things are going I don't know whether we have a future together. How do I make her talk or should I call the relationship off?
— Suresh

Dear Suresh,
Most guys have a problem when their girls talk too much and demand too much. Yours is the opposite case. You can make her come out of her shell. Talk about your feelings for her and tell her to reciprocate her feelings. It is up to you to make her a lively person with a cheerful disposition. If she refuses to change, then it is your call to break away.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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